Thursday, July 25, 2013

Stay-At-Home Mom

A new chapter of our lives was opened on Monday. The chapter titled: 

DARIN, "to provide the necessities of life and protection for (the) family."
BRILLANTE, "responsible for the nurture of (the) children."

Kind of a wordy chapter title, I know. I guess for short we can call it: 

Darin leaves at 10 till 8 each morning to work.
Brillante stays at home to teach her sweet baby boy how to be a loving, polite, respectful, responsible human being.

Okay, so that ended up being longer than the first title...

Anyways, the point is, up to this point in our marriage Darin and I have both had the same roles. We both worked and provided financially for our family. We both also went to school. Our lives were equally busy with class and homework. After graduation we went through a weird period where both of us were jobless and got to spend tons of time at home with the baby (I guess you could say we both got to experience the "stay-at-home mom" job. Together. At the same time. Not usually how it's supposed to go). Then we had a few weeks where we were both working. I worked in the morning, Darin watched the kid. I came home, Darin left for work in the afternoon, I watched the kid. Do you get where I'm going with this? Up until Monday we pretty much had merged the two roles listed above into one role that each of us participated in. 

Over the past few weeks (after finding out about Darin's job and that we would be moving) I started to get a little scared for "Monday" to come. I thought it might be hard on me.  I've worked for my money since I was ten years old delivering newspapers and babysitting. I like to work. I like to feel independent. I like to contribute. However, Darin and I both felt and continue to feel that, at this point in our lives, unless there is a need  for me to work, it is best for me to stay at home and care for our son. He is my work. 

Monday came. I kissed Darin goodbye as he left for work in the morning and then spent the day with my little munchkin, and you know what, it felt right. I know there will be hard days, probably lot's of them. Days when I miss working. Days when I just want to get out of the house and run away from the laundry and recipes and stinky diapers. I accept that, it will  happen. But along with those hard days there will be a lot of good.  A lot of rewarding moments that will keep me grateful for the privilege I have to be a stay-at-home mom.
With that said, something that both mine and Darin's mother did when they had children at home was take them to the library. We both grew up with mothers who helped us love and understand the importance for reading and we both hope to do the same for our children. Needless to say, I was overly excited about getting our library cards and finding out that there is weekly baby storytime at our local library.

Baby storytime day arrived and we were off to the library. Arrived. Jumped in the long line of mommies and children. While standing in line I started feeling like I wasn't in the baby storytime line. There were lots of older children and I doubted that storytime would be taking place in the auditorium we were walking into. I quickly found out that baby storytime was actually taking place at the other  library and that we were about to experience The One Man Band for Kids. 

I knew we wouldn't make storytime if we tried to go to the other library, so we just stayed and listened to the music and watched the kids dance. Not gonna lie, I probably looked pretty desperate-to-get-out-of-the-house being there with my 5 month old baby on my lap when all the other parents clearly had kids that could sing and dance. Oh well. Guess we'll try again next week. 


  1. Thanks for posting this. I struggle with this sometimes, I feel like I want nothing more than to be a stay at home mom but at the same time I'm so self-sufficient and independent that I'm terrified of it. It'll be an adjustment. I appreciate you confessing that there will probably be times you won't like it - everyone else's blogs make it seem like they're just totally content with being a mom and doing cute little stuff with their kids - and it makes me feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one who is scared I won't LIKE being a mom sometimes, and maybe I don't have to feel totally guilty about that. Good luck on the other side of the country - I'm sorry I didn't see you before you left! Keep blogging and keep me posted on your awesome life :)

  2. I can't begin to tell you how much I like this blog post. Being a mom is the best job in the world, but yes, sometimes it's hard. But the rewards are heavenly. The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.