Friday, January 6, 2012


My semi-annual "Starting of the Semester Breakdown" seems to be coming to a close (Thank goodness!). It's been a rough week. It all started back on Sunday when it hit me that vacation was almost over.

Sunday night:
B: Oh no! School is about to start! Our vacation is almost over! OH NO!!!!
D: It's Sunday. We're still on vacation. This shouldn't be happening until tomorrow night or Tuesday night...Right?

Poor Darin. He is so patient during these semi-annual explosions of emotion.  This was our 4th together. He gets better at knowing how to handle them as I get worst. (Of course he LOVES starting school...???!!!!???!!!!) (We are slightly different in that sense).

It's obviously not the only time I have breakdowns, I mean, I'm a girl for goodness sake! But this is a special breakdown. Today I was pondering on my life, trying to figure out why I turn into a stress case at this time of year and I'm starting to put 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and 10 and 20 together. Let me share:

1. Paying tuition
2. Paying for books
3. Paying for BYU Health Insurance that is SOOO much more expensive when married (don't worry, I understand why, but I can still think it's ridiculous).
4. Waiting for books to arrive...wishing we had ordered them earlier...praying they will arrive before I need to do my first reading assignments (they arrived yesterday!! Yay!! Prayer answered!!)
5. New teachers
6. New teaching styles
7. New classmates that I don't know. (It takes so much energy to make new friends, but I've learned that sooner is always better than later when you are taking a class together).
8. Reading the syllabi. 

I've realized that the thing that puts me OVER THE TOP is reading the darn syllabus. This is something that I just realized yesterday, and now that I've realized it, I'm hoping that future semesters won't be as bad. So what is it about the syllabus that stresses me out? This is my hypothesis, the fact that I come away from class with this in my head: 

"3 exams, research paper, turn in thesis, turn in sources, group presentation, notebook for this, notebook for that, HUNDREDS and THOUSANDS and MILLIONS of pages of reading... that for some classes we were supposed to magically know to start reading for the the first day of class. Starting class ALREADY behind = THE PITTS."

Now tell me that's not stressful! It's a lot for a girl to handle all at once.

Today was the second day, SO MUCH BETTER! We started the lectures, the class discussions, the everyday stuff that isn't as stressful as the idea of EVERYTHING I have to do for EVERY class ALL semester. I need to take these things a day at a time and try to avoid the BIG PICTURE. Thank you syllabus for stressing the heck out of me!

The stress wasn't helped at all by the sickness I must have picked up from all of the sick missionaries that I work with. I don't get sick very often, and of course when it decides to hit me, it has to do it during one of the most already stressful times of my life.

Count Your Blessings, Name Them ONE BY ONE:
1. Only have to stress about Darin's tuition (why can't grad students get grants?)
2. The more Spanish classes I take, the more I find myself with at least a few others students that I know.
3. My translation class is ALL the same students and same instructors. 
4. Amazing sweetheart who has been taking care of me (and the house) like no other.
5. DayQuil
6. NyQuil 
7. Tissues
8. Cough Drops
9. Thoughtful friends that drop off chicken noodle soup

I'll stop at 10, but even during the low of lows, one can always find some tid bits of happy (weellll, towards the end of the breakdown anyways :) ). 

Welcome Winter Semester. 

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