A lot can happen in 6 weeks.
It amazes me how quickly these little ones grow, and even more amazing that this little boy is growing inside of me. Over the last few weeks it hasn't just been Little Self doing all the changing. I've been praying for quite some time now to feel connected to our baby and to be able to love him unconditionally like a good mother should. Some of you might think that is odd. I would have thought that it was odd 24 weeks ago. Shouldn't it just be natural for a mother to love her baby right from the start? For me, being pregnant was actually really strange at first. It didn't feel real. I felt strange knowing that a little unknown creature would be interrupting what I consider to be my perfect life with Darin. I really was worried about being able to connect and love it with all my heart.
Last week I had a special realization. I was just finishing my not very intense pregnant workout at the gym when I felt a strong feeling of gratitude for the little baby inside of me. I felt it again while in the locker room getting ready. For the first time it really clicked that me and my baby do everything together. He's always with me. We work out together, shower together, sleep together, go to class and work together, etc. For the first time I felt a really strong bond with my baby. It was a feeling that I will never forget.
I've been feeling him move around for quite some time now, each week feeling him more and more. I love feeling him move around inside of me and especially love it when Darin is able to feel him move as well. We both get these cheesy grins going across our faces as I squeal "Oooo, did you feel that?" and Darin responds that he did. I love sharing "baby moments" with him and more than anything, I sure do love my boys.
Happy 24 Weeks Baby Self!
I appreciate you sharing this... because those are some of the exact fears that I have for future motherhood. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one and glad to know that if I am like that, there's still hope :) You're great :) and you will be a fabulous mother!
ReplyDeleteDang, Brillante, you look good! What a cute pregnant girl! I totally know what you mean about connecting with your baby. I thought it was kind of hard to connect with Jane when I was pregnant, I mean, I didn't even know she was a she. But when you see that baby for the first time that connection gets much more intense. At least it did for me. Plus, even though I loved her the moment I saw her, I feel like I love her more now than I did a week ago, because I learn something new about her everyday.
ReplyDeleteBrillante, you are such a cute pregnant lady! I'm just one week behind you and love keeping up with your exciting life. love the blog!
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