Thoughts on a Sunday

I've had a lot of things on my mind the past two weeks that have really softened my heart. Mainly this  accident, where a sister who had served in my parent's ward was killed. We met her over the summer while staying at my parents house before moving up to New York. We ate dinner with her and went to church with her. That was it. I barely know her, but my heart broke and my eyes filled with tears as I read about the accident that took her life. I haven't been able to stop thinking about this accident. Some days I wonder how her family is coping. I wonder what it would be like to be her mother, to get a call like the one she received. To realize that the last time you saw and held your daughter nine months ago was the last. I think about the other three sisters in the car and wonder how this will affect their lives. I think about the mother of the sister who is still in critical condition, in and out of surgeries every day. How grateful she must feel that her daughter is alive, but how heartbroken she must feel seeing the pain her daughter is going through. I think about the bus driver who ran that stop sign and what he must be feeling. I read this post from one of the mothers of the two other sisters who were released from the hospital and felt her faith during this difficult time. I read this post from a member who went to the funeral of the sister who passed away. She shared what she felt as she watched Elder Bednar stand up while everyone was singing the final hymn (I Feel My Savior's Love) and walk down to the family of this sister and hug them. She said that she saw the Savior hugging them.

Needless to say, I have been appreciating all the small moments that much more with my own family as of late. The other day I was busy checking things off the list of things to do that day when Belén woke up in a funny mood. All she wanted was for me to hold her. She snuggled up close to me and I dropped that list from my thoughts and just enjoyed that moment holding my baby girl. 

 ...all the while giving this little half naked sun glass dude the attention he so desperately wanted while putting on the "Shae Show."

I felt such a strong connection with heaven in those few short moments. I felt a strong love and gratitude for my little family. I felt such hope and peace in the Plan of Salvation and the Atonement. I felt a stronger understanding for the importance of my role as a parent to these little ones. The world is scary and heartbreaking things happen. I have an incredibly important responsibility to help them feel light and love and to teach them about the gospel so that when scary things come, they can stand tall on the foundation that we build together, "a foundation whereon if men build, they cannot fall."

My heart still aches for these sisters and their families. It is sad. It is hard. It is confusing. But I am grateful that we can all seek and find peace through the Savior. I'm grateful that we can share our experiences and learn from them together. This experience has made me realize that I do not want a day to go by without feeling and showing REAL love and attention for my children and my husband. I want to be grateful for every. single. day. that I get with them. 

I really DO feel my Savior's love, in all the world around me. His spirit DOES warm my soul, through everything I see. And when I kneel to pray, my heart REALLY is filled with peace.